When Courage Tries to Kill You
What you can learn from the thing that could have killed me.
WHEN COURAGE TRIES TO KILL YOU
2016 was the year of doing things outside of my comfort zone.I had new conversations, difficult conversations. I made scary decisions and big decisions. I said yes to an assignment that was new for me, and I said no to another that would have been comfortable and “normal”. And I did some things that made me uncomfortable but stretched my experiences…and one of those things could have killed me.I have always had a fear of large bodies of water where I could not see the bottom. That fear started in a YMCA pool where my swim instructor forced me off the high dive. All I could see on the way down was the magnified YMCA letters at the bottom of that pool that, from my point of view, looked like they would swallow me whole.It will come as no surprise to you then that I have successfully avoided activities that required swimming in oceans, lakes, rivers, and ponds. And being a long-time resident of Georgia, where going to the lake is a thing, avoiding doing so is significant.
My Pursuit of Courage
Fast forward to 2016 and I decided that a local public waterfall was the perfect opportunity for me to prove out my commitment to do things outside of my comfort zone. It made sense to me that before I could encourage other leaders to be courageous, I needed to be first in line.
Thirty minutes into wading into the chilly waters of this waterfall oasis, my courage grew. “I’m ok!”, I thought to myself as I waded deeper into the rushing, flowing pool of water that created a deep pond at the bottom of the water fall. The feel of the rushing water on my body was exhilarating. For me, this was my version of extreme sports!
I walked in and out of the water several times as I carried on a light-hearted conversation with my friend who had accompanied me, and every once in a while, I snuck a glance at my carefree son, who was splashing with his friend close by.
Even closer still was a cute little couple who seemed to glow in the cast of the sun shining behind them. No one else seemed to notice the photo-op so I asked them if they wanted me to take a picture. They were delighted and pointed to their backpack which sat on the sandy shore of our new favorite place.
My second step into the water would shut down the entire day for everyone present.
The rock underneath my left foot was covered in black moss; I went airborne. Had I been on a grassy knoll or sandy beach, I may have landed on my side or bottom. At the time of my fall, I was several lengths into a bed of sharp, moss-covered river rock and forty degree rushing water. Strangers and friends came rushing to my side.
I was conscious but in shock.
Courage Can Be Life Threatening
My head landed first, just an inch or so from a rock so sharp that the point of it glistened in the sunlight. Every inch of my shock-ridden body slammed down next.
In a matter seconds, it occurred to me that this was not your average fall.
As the water gurgled in and out of my ears, I was in one moment relieved that my nose wasn’t submerged and in another, stunned that I was conscious.The sound of and force of my skull hitting the rock bed was terrifying.
Not one person present was convinced I could get up. But I did. And then the throbbing began.
I survived, but I left the day with a massive knot on the back of my head, and a headache to remind me of two things: 1) the outcome of my fall could have been so much different and 2) courage can be life threatening.
Courage Can Become Your Greatest Ally
I volunteered for an exercise in courage, and it could have killed me. Any reasonable person could wonder whether my venturing out into dark water was too risky for someone who is wired to avoid it. Looking back, I’m grateful for the experience. It taught me some important things that have helped me make peace with courage.
Here’s what I learned that can teach you how to strap up for the next time your bright ideas (or life in general) require courage:
Greatness isn’t found in playing it safe. It’s found stepping into dark water.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s what you discover on the other side of pushing through it.
Failing at something that requires courage can make you crippled or curious. You choose. The former is a dead-end. The latter is another beginning.
They say there is a fine line between courage and stupidity. The one thing I did correctly in my pursuit of courage was I took the right person with me. Even extreme sportsman who go solo know to let someone know where they are and when they are going. Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re trying to accomplish, but who also know how to help you get support when you need it.
Fear can stop you in your tracks. It can make a strong voice quiver into a whisper. It can turn opportunity into crushing defeat. It can keep you stuck, small and normal. Whatever it does, it can only stop your progress if it’s given permission. Keep. Going. Try another approach. Ask someone else. Learn more. Start again. Show up. Build new connections. Keep. Going.
It’s ok to rest the thing that courage tried to use to kill you. Just remember that rehab done right stretches the very thing that was injured. Want your mojo back? Stretch your courage muscles under the watchful eye of someone who won’t let you give up too soon.
Ignoring an injury sustained after wrestling with your own courage isn’t noble. In fact, it may create bigger problems down the road. Invest the time to heal, just make sure to nurture the rest of your heart, mind and body with perspective that helps you adapt, grow and thrive.
When courage tries to kill you, it’s ok to not want to be a hero. Just don’t be a victim. Legacy lives in what you fought for, not in what you relinquished.
Innovators, world changers, founders, disrupters and creators know that courage is rarely their chosen fuel. What they are hungry for is what feeds them. What gives you life? What keep you up at night? What keeps you going? What connects you to your purpose? What makes you curious about your potential? Or that of your team or organization? Identify what satisfies that ache in your mind and hear. When it looks like courage is on the menu, you’ll have a reminder of what you are uniquely positioned to do.
Whether you lead companies, teams, community organizations, families or yourself, doing scary things is a common denominator for every one. What's unique is how we choose response to it.
When courage tries to kill you, remember that courage isn't trying to be your enemy. It can be your ally if you understand what to do with it when you volunteer to court it, or when it forces its way into your life.
Need or want to do something courageous? T.A.P. can help. Reach out today for a complimentary assessment at support@tapexecutivecoaching.com or call (678) 626-7028.
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